Monday, July 27, 2009

THINGS I KNOW ARE TRUE - or I wonder if they're true:

(in no particular order)

  • Calvin Pace’s advertisement encouraging people to get tested for HIV is obviously not intended as an encouragement to get tested for drugs specializing in performance-enhancement.
  • Vernon Gholsten (remember him?) is a man with a gigantic, heat-inducing magnifying glass above him, held by an equally gigantic kid with a boredam problem, who basically represents… Well, me, maybe. I don’t know.
  • Mark Sanchez has managed to appear dumb before even coming to New York. Why must he try to act like Tom Brady before taking a snap? Why must the Mets wear black to look like the Yankees?
  • Mark Sanchez will start opening day?? Really?? Somebody call Browning Nagle and ask him how his career went as a rookie starter. I know, I know. Matt Ryan. Joe Flacco. Keep intoning. Breathe. Repeat.
  • Rex Ryan has changed the “culture” at Hofstra – er, Florham Park – er, Cortland. He is apparently OK with players making mistakes. He smiles more than Eric Mangini, but then I do, too, and I suffer from depression. The question is, what will activate the Ryan gene for inexplicable behavior?
  • The Jets will lose their first six games of the regular season. This will bring the culture back to normal.
  • Real, imagined, fictional, absolutely true, player, entourage – in any event, rape against women surrounds the real culture of American football.
  • Plaxico Burress will not sign with the Jets because he’s probably going to serve as much time as Michael Vick (but possibly more than Donte Stallworth?)
  • Thomas Jones and Leon Washington are both a little hurt, feelings-wise. But Shonn Greene is going to be a better pick than Mark Sanchez. (I know, I know. They play different positions.)
  • Kellen Clemens will start for us? Really? Really??
  • Nobody is reading this right now.


Slimbo said...

My thoughts:
1 - why could Sanchez not be the next Eli Manning? A few years of disasters...then maybe a miracle.
2 - the Mets and the black uni's...don;t get me started. Yes, the Mets want to be the Yankees. That's why they made this ridiculous move. They need to think 'Mets 1986', not 'Yankees 1998'.
3 - Yes, I read this blog. Keep at it, lad!

Anonymous said...

This will bring the culture back to normal

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Anonymous said...

Who says no one is reading it? Get back to work.